Type of Guys that Have to See Fifty Shades Darker

Here's a sentence you're unlikely to hear out of a man's mouth: "Hey, bro, you wanna go pound some beers and see Fifty Shades Darker?" But plenty of men have significant others, and according to Post Grad Problems, here are the six types of dudes who are likely to get dragged (or drag themselves) to a screening of the pervy popcorn flick:

Guy Obviously Trying To Make Up For a Drunk Fight. You sit in silence for a couple hours, she’ll grab for your hand at a scary/romantic part and it’ll be like you never accused her of texting her ex in the first place. Way to go, buddy. Ride out the storm.

Husband Paying Dearly Now That Football Season Is Over. She has that “Hey, you can do this ONE THING for me after all the crud I went through for 21 Sundays” look on her face. She’s got him by the gourds now and there’s nothing he can do about it.

Older Couple Looking for a Spark. This guy is a gamer. He’s dealing with low T and multiple tuition payments a month, so it’s no wonder he’s looking to ignite the flames of passion in his marriage. He’s been in the game long enough to know what it takes to keep his lady happy and if that meant dealing with two hours of soft-core so he could fire one off later, this pain would have to be borne.

Way Too Early in the Relationship to be Doing This. His eyes were nervously darting around the theater to see if he knew anyone there who might mistake this Sunday date for an actual step towards a real relationship. Or is he already in a relationship and he just doesn’t know it? He’s caught in a game of chicken that may not end until he’s staring her in the face on their wedding day.

Guy Wo Was WAYYYY too Excited to Be There. Heard the unsettling plopping noise of a makeout throughout the movie and maybe a zipper, but I couldn’t be sure.

Weird Dude By Himself in a Hoodie and Sweatpants. I was such a deep hungover stupor that I didn’t have the self-awareness of how creepy my presence was there. But you know what? I don’t really even care.

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