15 Jokes To Share With Your Kids

As a dad, I know just how much kids love telling jokes! Sometimes it's hard to find some good clean fun ones, so I've done the work for ya! Share a laugh with some loved ones this weekend without making anybody cover their ears HAHA! 

  • What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
  • I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
  • Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! The Empire State Building can't jump.
  • If you ever get cold, stand in the corner of a room for a while. They're usually 90 degrees.
  • What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? "Put it on my bill."
  • What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
  • George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie. Clooney says, "I'll direct." DiCaprio says, "I'll act." McConaughey says, "I'll write, Apparently you can't use "beef stew" as a password. It's not stroganoff.
  • If you have 10 apples in one hand and 14 oranges in the other, what do you have? Really, really big hands.
  • What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates.
  • A man walks into a lawyer's office and asks, "How much do you charge?" The lawyer says, "$5,000 for three questions." "Wow, that's pretty expensive, isn't it?" the man asks. "Yes," says the lawyer. "Now, what's your third question?"
  • I took part in the sun tanning Olympics...but I only got bronze.
  • How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
  • What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name.
  • Murphy's Law says that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Cole's Law is thinly sliced cabbage.
  • I told my friend not to get too excited about turning 32, since her birthday party would be so short. "Why would it be short?" she asked. I said, "Because it's your 30-second birthday."


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