Having to drag yourself in to work with a hangover sucks--especially when you hold one of these seven jobs, which Deadspin considers the worst on the day after a bender:
- Teacher. As a parent who has dealt with loud children while hungover, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to preside over a class of 26 crazy kids while in similar straits.
- Construction. What are the chief enemies of any hungover person, apart from being alive? Well, there’s loud noise, extreme heat and sunlight. Oh goody, here’s a job that entails all three of those things.
- Hospital worker. Dealing with people is already raw hell if you’re feeling lousy. Now make all those people hospital patients, constantly leaking pus and poo, expecting to be tended to every waking second and looking surprised and hurt when they are not. And, as a bonus, you get to spend all day in a windowless building bathed in fluorescent light. LUCKY YOU!
- Office drone. I know that anyone with a white-collar job is relatively fortunate to have one, but being stuck in a meeting when you are hungover is AWFUL. It is Satan’s handicraft. I feel like bosses can sense when you’re hungover and actually extend the offsite presentation just to toy with you. I swear to God I’d rather do manual labor, man. At least I’d be sweating out the toxins. At least time would pass more quickly. Sit on a conference call when your head is exploding and tell me you don’t want to just die.
- Stablehand. Again, think about your sworn enemies if you are hungover. Bad odors, including horse dung, are way up there. Oh, and what about…
- Cleaning/Sanitation. Pine-Sol! Oh dear heavenly Jesus, please deliver me from the scent of Pine-Sol if I’ve ever cold-cocked myself with gin the night prior. One whiff and my hopes for holding in the vomit are dashed.
- Driver. “I’m not gonna drink too much tonight. I have a long drive tomorrow.” (Twelve hours and 10 beers later…) “What have I done?”
NO RADIO :)